“There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents... and only one for birthday presents, you know.” - Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass
That sums up my attitude about birthdays. You only get one a year, so don’t waste it. For those of you who a have less festive attitude regarding your birthday, I’ll share my basic birthday requirements, which may help your future birthdays run more smoothly:
1.You get points for being the first person to call me in the morning to wish me a happy birthday. I’m not sure why. It’s just one of the mysteries of the universe, but that doesn’t make it any less true. Unfortunately, this may result in your parents calling you before 6:00 am.
* Additional points are also awarded for those who sing on the phone.
2.Explain to your __________ (fill in the blank: parents, friends, girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse, children) that everyone has to be nice to you on your birthday. It’s a rule. It is important to explain this in advance.
3.Birthdays require cake, or a stand-in of the birthday recipient’s choice. In my family, it is not a birthday without a Baskin-Robbins ice cream cake. Period. We all get one every year, no matter what. Sometimes they have a picture of me on them (this part is frightening and not required).
4.I check my voicemail all day to see who called me on my birthday. I can’t help it.
5.I do not want to do any of the following on my birthday: wear a hat of any kind, cook or clean anything, or eat flan.
6.Obviously, I like presents (especially thoughtful rather than expensive and/or edible ones).
7.If anyone tries to yell at you, sell you something over the phone, or be rude in any way, tell them that it’s your birthday. If they don’t shut up or hang up, inform them that they are violating the Birthday Code of Ethics and they should stop whatever it is they are doing immediately.
8.Stay up to eat your ice cream cake out of the freezer after everyone goes to sleep.
Happy Birthday, Devyn!
~ Kami Garcia