How do you know so many authors? PT. 3

(Be sure to read "How do you know so many authors PT. 1 & PT. 2")

The PICU, (Pediatric Intensive Care Unit), is a very boring place.
People in the PICU you are either drugged out of their minds--or on the brink of death. Luckily for me they did not feel the need to make me anymore loopy then I already am. So I sat in my bed and threw balls of tape at my nurses*.

After two hours of close observation they decided I was not going to die and did not need this close of an examination. This could have thrown my ATTEMPT OF DEATH scheme off its course HOWEVER, the PICU were the only people not fooled by my master plan!

At this point I had been awake for 24 hours, anyone could have told me to go to sleep and I would not have listened, I am too nosy. However, when your body decided you have tried to die enough for the day--it MAKES you sleep.

***

I awoke in a room of my own, my name scribbled on a plaque. I snickered "Hehehe, My plan is all going well--now its time for OPERATION BEST SELLER."**

I jumped on a computer, which was conveniently connected to my bed and popped an e-mail to an author. I have the original e-mail somewhere, But I'm not going to find it. So I shall AD-LIB!

"HAI,

I R DYIN. I MAY DIE 4RM IT.
I R @ HOSPITAL, AND R NEEDIN U 2 SEE ME.
SO I DONT DIEZ.
IF U KAN DU THIS.
THAT WOULD MAKE MEH GRATEFUL.
TNX.

DEVYN"

Like I said, that is ad-libbed.

I received an e-mail back assuring me that the author in question would do everything in her power to try to see me in the hospital***. At this point I demanded that my I.V.s be removed--I was NOT going to try and take another shower with tape wrapped around them.

I am a MALE**** so I have HAIR on my arms. HAIR + TAPE = WTFAREYOUDOING!?

After my shower, I decided to start dying again. This is ALSO the point where the hospital decides they want to SWITCH ME TO A DIFFERENT FLOOR. I start to panic, How is the author supposed to find me if I am on a new floor?!

I did the only thing I knew how to. Try to die once more! It worked. I kept my room.

I sat in my bed, freaking out--convinced that the author was unable to fit me into her busy day. I was fine with that, I know authors are indeed busy--but I didn't lose hope.

JUST THEN, A black haired woman (with a white streak in it) popped her head in my room. "Uhhh... are you Devyn?****" she asked "Yes!" I exclaimed! "Well, Oh, I'm Holl..." Before she could finish her sentence I jumped out of my bed and exclaimed "HOLLY BLACK, YOU ARE HOLLY BLACK, YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME YOUR NAME!!"

However, as I was jumping out of my bed (they had previously hooked up my port--which is like an I.V. in my chest) my port line snagged on my bed. I did an odd jerking motion and Holly's eyes bugged out of her head "Settle down!" she said unsure if she should laugh or scream for a nurse.

A few seconds later another woman appeared in my room with a giant grin on her face. Cassandra Clare. Two amazing authors at the same time--I must be amazing at this DYING thing!

At THAT my friends.
Is how you meet authors.
From there on I assume Holly and Cassie went to the high author council and told every author of the land to talk to Devyn Burton the amazing--as he could die at ANY possible moment--and they know it to be true because they had WITNESSED IT!

Little did they know I am an amazing ACTOR!*****

And there you have it, the 100% foolproof way to meet authors!
COMMENTS ARE DANDY!

XO


*= Out of all fairness, the nurse watching me was checking his Myspace. I could have DIED while he was reading his BFF's blog!
**= Seriously at this point--I had no strength at all. I have a virus attacking my whole body.
***= I had talked to this author for three years prior to this VIA Snail Mail and E-Mail--and was planning to meet her at a book event (which happened to be in the same town as the hospital in question!)
****= A male with a SOMETIMES Female sounding name, we are not getting into that. This is JUST to appease Gen.
*****= Not really, My body just hates me and is an AMAZING KILLER.

How do you know so many authors? PT. 2

(Be sure to read "How do you know so many authors PT. 1")
"YOU CAN TAKE HIM IN AN AMBULANCE IF YOU GET IT HERE IN TEN MINUTES!" the Nurse bellowed. The Doctor stood in my room with a look on his face that said "WTF, I CALL THE SHOTS."

At this time, everyone was sure I was going to die.

All of this happened during a friends birthday party--her parents were in the E.R., my grandparents, cousins... Everyone and their third cousin twice removed. The Ambulance arrived and I was whisked away by an old man and a young man who seemed to have chronic ADD.

***

I laid in the back of the ambulance. "So... Devyn, how have you been.", vulgar words flew threw my mind. Hello I am FAKING DEATH* I am doing HORRIBLE. It seems that he did not want me to DIE on his watch, I wanted to touch his face and say "It's okay chronic ADD boy, I wont die. I have authors to meet!"

"You have been to New York!? Oh wow, I went to this one shop they sold..." This was the time, I closed my eyes and practiced my death scene. I was lost to the world... That is until I arrived at the hospital.

***

Once I arrived at the hospital.
I was awoken, YET AGAIN, by a doctor screaming at a nurse**.

"ARE YOU AN IDIOT, GET ANOTHER IV IN HIM. WE CAN'T GIVE HIM ANTIBIOTICS AND A NORMAL IV AT THE SAME TIME!" the Doctor screamed. "I WAS TRYING TO WAKE THE KID UP!" the nurse retaliated. I was not fully awake. This did not stop them from stabbing the same needle into my arm four times.

I sat in the hospitals ER Children area, while the foreign doctor kept looking into my room making faces at me and laughing. This would be amusing if I was THREE YEARS OLD. I was trying to FAKE DEATH not laugh at some doctor.

Long story short the doctor decided that I was in critical condition, because I was not responding to her antics.

PART THREE -- TOMORROW!--WILL DEVYN SURVIVE THE PICU?! HOW WILL DEVYN MEET A BEST SELLER IN THIS CONDITION!? FIND OUT ON THE LAST DAY OF BEDA!
Comments are DANDY!

XO

*= No I was really knocking on deaths door.
**= Dear doctors, learn a proper bedside manor!

How do you know so many authors? PT. 1

When meeting new people--the first question I am asked is "How do you know so many authors?" Well my friends luckily for you, I have an answer!

Basically one day three years ago--on Mothers day, I decided that the only way to meet a best selling author was to almost die*. So I woke up, made mothers day breakfast and plotted my journey into death**.

I was rushed up to the hospital, holding my hand on my head the whole way and screaming "THE WHOLE WORLD IS SPINNING MOTHER, IT IS SPINNING, MAKE IT STOP!" This caused my mother to drive even faster!

Upon arriving at the hospital, they decided I needed an X Ray. They shuffled me into an X Ray room and told me to hold my breath, little did they know my blood was so thin when I held my breath I would pass out.

I woke up (after a possibly near death experience, I can say I have never felt that feeling of 'waking up' ever in my life, and never want to feel it again!) in my hospital bed. People rushing in and out.

Meanwhile the angel and demon on my shoulders were both rubbing their hands together. Operation NEAR DEATH was going perfect!*** My nurse and doctor then proceeded to scream at each other in my hospital room.

"WE NEED TO LIFE FLIGHT HIM!" the nurse screamed, "MR. DINGLEBAT**** NEEDS A LIFE FLIGHT, IF WE START DEVYN ON AN I.V. HE SHOULD BE FINE IN AN AMBULANCE!"

THIS CONCLUDES PART ONE, TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR PART TWO!
Comments are dandy!

XO


*= I do not suggest this for a normal person, only advance almost dead people.
**= Not really plotted, my body did all of the work.
***= Honestly, I have Lupus, and can't take any credit, my body decided it wanted to try and kill me.
****= I don't remember the mans name. It is highly doubtable that it was DINGLEBAT!

(Side note, hopefully you SEE this is a TRUE story told in the 'Maureen Johnson' style, so... decide what is true and what isn't!)

The Elite - Jennifer Banash

The Elite
Jennifer Banash

Rating: 4/5

Casey McCloy is your normal, small town America girl--thrown into the fabulous life of the lavishly rich Upper East Side, to live with her grandmother. She attends the prestigious Meadowlark Academy.

Casey quickly is accepted into the elite of Meadowlark, but she soon finds out that she is nothing like the girls. She must decide for herself if she wants friends who love her for her or for what she is worth.

At first I found this book really hard to get into, but once the story picked up I was hooked! I actually enjoyed The Elite more then I did the Gossip Girl books (and for anyone to like an Upper East Side series over Gossip Girl used to be a sin in my book--until now).

A friend of mine mentioned that she did not like the 'label dropping' in the book--but you must step back and look at the full picture, money rules the characters lives in the book. I loved this book and highly suggest this book (and the rest of the series) too all of my readers.

xo

Carrie Freaking Jones.

I had a hard time coming up with a blog idea for today. But then I visited a friend Facebook page, and decided I would write about her.

This woman on the left, her name is Carrie Jones. So I decided to write a blog about her and why I am proud to consider her a friend.

Carrie Jones has a very big heart--I'm talking so big that when she hears about a crisis on the other side of the world it tears her up. Today, for whatever reason was not a good day for Carrie, but she has amazing friends (like me) who will always be there for her--just like she is there for many of us.

In 2007 I was sent Tips on having a Gay (ex) boyfriend, I remember sheepishly hiding the book from my parents because at that time I was not comfortable in talking about my sexuality to anyone. I gobbled the book up in a few hours and was amazed.

I fired an e-mail off to her after I read the book--and a friendship sprung up after that. Since then Carrie has added many more titles to her collection Love (and other uses for duct tape), Girl, Hero & Need.

The most important thing is that Carrie has stayed the same kind (at times crazy) author that I knew in 2007.

On a side note--she really likes stalkers, so go and buy her book and become part of the following!

This blog may not mean anything to you, but hopefully it can put a smile on a friends face.

Day Of Silence 2009

Steve Berman - Vintage

Vintage
Steve Berman
5/5

I had been meaning to get my hands on Vintage for some time now, so I was ecstatic when Steve asked me if I would review the book. I found myself very envious as I read the book, not just because of the relationships in the book, I was envious of Steve's writing. It had everything my own project was missing.

Vintage is about a young gay man who is trying to find his way in the world. When his parents found out he was gay he was forced to leave his home--in which he fled to his aunts house. In his new town he befriends an assortment of friends.

When he meets a new guy, who just happens to be a spirit, someone who had passed away long before he was born. It is up to him to figure out if the relationship will work or if it was doomed even before it started.

The narrator* uncovers secrets not only about himself but also about the young ghost, Josh.

Berman weaves a wonderful story, full of characters that you feel like you have known all of your life. I'd have to say one of the best ghost romance books that I have read. He could definitely give The Mediator series a run for it's money--and win.

I would suggest this book to anyone who enjoys a good spine tingling adventure mixed with romance and a good comic relief--As I said before I stayed up until 5:30 reading the book, it had me hooked from the start.

XO


*The main character does have a name, however it is mentioned only once in the book. I stayed up until 5:30 AM to finish reading this book--I remember the story, just not the name. Sadly. =[

Katka - Stephen R. Meier

Katka
Stephen R. Meier

Rating: 4/5

In my almost three years as a book blogger I have stuck to reviewing YA books.

However this changed when I was contacted by Stephen R. Meier.

I thought I was in trouble when I first started reading this book. The first page was full of things that I had never seen in a book--I can admit at first I was disgusted and shared it with a reviewing friend. It did not sink into my mind at the time that this was NOT a YA book, so it was something that I needed to work through.

I'm glad that I didn't give up on the book. The 'disgusting' things that I first read in the book were needed to tell the story. The book is based on a story of a group of friends who start a mail order bride business. Once you can accept the raw facts of the mail order bride business it is easy to get lost in the book and the wonderful story that Meier has orchestrated.

Possibly one of the most interesting books that I have read yet. Just turning an adult at the ripe old age of 18 last year, I can say that Meier really gives me hope for 'Adult Books', I had always avoided most books written for 'adults' because to be honest they really never held my attention with a storyline.

I suggest this book to every reader of my blog--regardless of the age group you are in. If you can handle a topic such as the mail order bride service I highly suggest giving this book a read--I can assure you that you will not be disappointed!

There is a lesson weaved into the story, and Meier is the perfect person to tell it!

xo

Devyn to library: Boot 'Censorship' (#BEDA #6)

First I would like to say that this blog is in complete and total response to 'Mom to library: Boot 'Gossip Girl'

"A Leesburg mother is in a tug of war with the local library about what she calls questionable books in the young-adult section and has asked library officials to pull them from the shelves."

"It's not necessarily just for my kids, it's for the community." She states

Hold up,
Wait a minute.

Since when was it one woman's job to care for the whole community?
This is what we like to call CENSORSHIP.

We have Moral, Military, Political, Religious and Corporate Censorship found in the world today. So we shall compare these many types of censorship to the book THE BERMUDEZ TRIANGLE by MAUREEN JOHNSON. --One of the books that Lessburg is attempting to remove from the library.

(I'm not going to even try to cover Gossip Girl--I do not believe the books should be removed from the library--NO Book should be removed, but currently I do not have time to build a case for Gossip Girl.)

There really is no way that Military, Political or Corporate Censorship can apply to this case.

Moral Censorship: (Things that are obscene or otherwise morally questionable.)

Religious Censorship: (Church members believe the content is not appropriate for their faith.)

Now--in the book The Bermudez Triangle we have to things that could possibly fit these categories. Two VERY stupid things that fit into these categories; Drinking and Homosexuality.

TEEN DRINKING DEVYN?, HOW CAN THIS BE 'VERY STUPID'?
It is very stupid because it is life, these books will be in the hand of Young Adults across the world, and drinking is a real part of life.

74.3

The percentage of high school students nationwide who have had one or more drinks of alcohol during their lifetime.

- http://family.samhsa.gov/talk/alcohol.aspx

The characters in Johnson's books do not enjoy drinking--and one character even attempts to stop the events taking place. If anything the book does not encourage drinking--it shows the negative side effects and clearly discourages it.

HOMOSEXUALITY.

Clearly there is no possible way that this subject could have a horrible outcome on a sprouting youths mind. Being Homosexual is not something you become it is something that you are.

Regardless what a person (real or fictional) sexual orientation is, we are all created equal in the end. Regardless if others see it not. The fact that the library is a PUBLIC LIBRARY to serve the COMMUNITY, this book has no reason to be removed from the shelves.

If the book ever was removed, they might as well deny every homosexual person a library card as well.

You see, when someone attempts to challenge a book they like to point out any minor negative detail, regardless if good can come of it.
And clearly banning a book makes it more appealing to young adult readers, as no book should be banned--after all we do have freedom of speech.

That is my soapbox for the day--I would like to applaud Barbara Morse who is the Director who is keeping the book on the shelf.

xo